Margot Robbie is shamed online for pregnancy

Although common online, unhelpful comments about pregnant bodies can – in my experience – happen in person too.

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“Are you sure you don't have a multiple?” I was asked when I was pregnant with my eldest to get an indirect (but very obvious) assessment of the size of my belly.

“You didn’t get the pregnancy glow,” a family member told a friend, due to a skin condition that developed on her face during pregnancy.

“You must be having a hard time shifting your baby’s weight,” another friend’s father-in-law told her when she was just three months postpartum.

While Robbie hopefully doesn't read the comments of online trolls, all of these types of comments that focus on a woman's changing body can be harmful to her wellbeing and mental health, says Helen Bird, head of educational services at the Butterfly Foundation.

“During pregnancy and postpartum, the body goes through tremendous changes, coupled with emotional and hormonal adjustments, making it a high-risk time for body dissatisfaction,” she says. “It’s a time when words and comments about how someone looks can have a real impact.”

And it doesn't help that the list of appearance issues that pregnant women have to worry about keeps getting longer.

On TikTok, “pregnancy nose” is a trend with more than 43 million posts in which users share tips and advice on how to prevent the natural – and temporary – swelling and shape change that can occur to a woman's nose during pregnancy.

While on the one hand this can be seen as a fun way for women to make light of a change that many people are experiencing, on the other hand it can portray the change as ugly, embarrassing, and “how to avoid a pregnancy nose.” Hashtag says to prevent something.

So, in a society that doesn't view growing up as nearly difficult enough, how can pregnant women navigate trends and commentary that seem to make it more difficult?

Robbie attends the Wimbledon Tennis Championships in July (right) and a screening of My old ass last month.Credit: Getty Images

For online content, Bird says it can be helpful to be aware of any triggers and diversify your feed. “Don't spend time on media that influences how you think about your body image, and be careful about who you follow,” she says.

Instead, she suggests exposing yourself to more realistic portrayals of pregnancy and parenting life, and paying attention only to accounts that highlight and take into account the changes and functions of the pregnant and postpartum body.

When it comes to direct or indirect judgmental comments from friends, family, or co-workers, Highet recommends speaking up.

“Some people are just naive and don’t think about what they say or how it might affect others,” she says. “And that's not going to change unless we speak up at this time to change expectations and say this can be hurtful and it's not OK.”

For support with eating disorders or body image issues, call the Butterfly National Helpline on 1800 ED HOPE (1800 33 4673) or visit Butterfly.org.au.

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