Spanish scholars determine that Christopher Columbus may have been a Sephardic Jew

The sound you heard in the distance on Monday was the sound of wingnut heads exploding across America. From – sorry – Fox News:

Spanish scientists announced in a new documentary that first aired Saturday that DNA analysis shows that the 15th-century explorer Christopher Columbus was a Sephardic Jew from western Europe. The documentary, titled “Columbus DNA: The True Origin,” which aired on Spanish state broadcaster TVE, shows the research of a 22-year investigation led by forensic expert Miguel Lorente, Reuters reported… “We have DNA from Christopher Columbus , very.” partial, but sufficient. We have DNA from Hernando Colón, his son,” Lorente said in the documentary. “And in both the Y chromosome (male) and mitochondrial DNA (transmitted from the mother) of Hernando, there are features consistent with Jewish ancestry.”

All those people who defended this slave-trading, gold-hungry privateer against the attack of the “woke mob” must now face the fact that they spilled all that rhetorical blood on a Jewish sailor. Why do I think this will blow the little minds of many of these people? Or will they claim that the science behind this discovery is just another hoax by the woke mob? I'm waiting for the result.

Whatever the case, I applaud the efforts of everyone who has worked to redesign this holiday to honor the spirit of the country's indigenous peoples, from the Seminoles of Florida to the Inuit of Alaska, from the Onondaga Nation in New York to the Kanaka Maoli in Hawaii. Meanwhile, efforts to reclaim lost history and forgotten children continue. A month ago, the remains of 11 children were sent home from the grounds of the old Carlisle Indian School in Pennsylvania. We should know their names.

Among the children are Almeda Heavy Hair of the Gros Ventre Tribe of the Fort Belknap Indian Community in Montana and Samuel Flying Horse of the Oglala Sioux Tribe of South Dakota, the son of Chief Flying Horse. Both children died in the early 1890s. Another child to be unearthed is Alfred Charko of the Wichita and Affiliated Tribes. According to a school newspaper at the time, he was ill when he started school in 1882. He spent his entire time there in hospital and died within four months of his arrival.

The tragedy of Alfred Charko seems particularly dark. Imagine being a child and dying in a hospital three-quarters of a continent away from your home without having the slightest idea why you were there. One of the best things that Secretary of State Deb Haaland has done during her tenure as head of the Interior Department is to channel the power of the federal government into efforts to bring to light the sad history of the Indian boarding schools and to reclaim the remains of the children who are there died. In July, the department released the second volume of its report on the issue. At the time of its publication, Foreign Minister Haaland said: