Love Is Blind DC Summary: A final cry into the abyss

We fought until the last episode of the regular season Love is blind in D.C. I'm not sure at this point if love is blind or even real.

Before the couples tie the knot, make sure you're in the loop about all the drama. If you don't have 829 minutes to watch, check out our recaps of episodes 1-6, 7-9, and 10-11 ⬇️.

Now that you're all together, let's walk down the aisle together one last time. Does this count as a spoiler? It's your final warning…

Summary: Episode 12

In like a lion, out like a lamb: This was the most boring season finale I have ever seen in my life. Luckily there is a summary to read!

Marissa and Ramses

Many thanks to Marissa and Ramses for giving us the only finale-worthy drama of the episode. We return to the couple and discuss another event that occurred off-camera. Ramses has doubts after discussing the wedding with family members. Apparently he recently learned that his ex's divorce hurt him a lot more than he realized.

I have to ask: How many years ago was Ramses' divorce? Did he sit for a moment and think about anyone but himself? Looking for insights from a therapist? Written in a diary? Took a walk? In many ways, Ramses is the perfect representative of DC dating: he's a progressive guy who seems to have a lot of empathy for people on a global level, but is lacking on an interpersonal level. If you're going on a show about relationships and marriage, you should probably work on yourself beforehand and make sure you're ready to commit before popping the question.

Love alone is not enough for Ramses and he simply cannot avoid certain things. Is he talking about the condoms? Military service? Oh no, just Marissa herself: “It’s about your energy and my energy living in the same place and coexisting,” he says. He is particularly concerned about Marissa bringing her “everyday stress” into their home. If you are Ramses' ex-wife, please call me, I would like to interview you.

It's difficult to get anywhere from there – let alone walk down the aisle – so Ramses and Marissa end their relationship. Marissa is sobbing and my heart breaks for her. (It's for the best, I promise!) She calls her mom to tell her the news, but the camera doesn't catch much of Vanessa's reaction. I imagine with the FCC it probably wouldn't fly.

Ashley and Tyler

Our first wedding is Ashley and Tyler. Although I have already said that I will stick to what is shown on the screen when it comes to the drama Father vs Donor, in light of recent events, it feels like a dereliction of my duties. This weekend, Bri Thomas (the mother of the children in question) posted a series of videos on Instagram detailing her allegations. According to Thomas, Tyler played a fatherly role to the children and the twins were conceived naturally. Tyler has not commented on the rumors, but wrote in a recent Instagram comment, “I don't owe anyone in this world an explanation. But I'll give you one thing, lol, the conversation was longer than shown and there was a lot of off-camera conversation.” The reunion show delivers better results.

With that in mind, there seems to be a lot of talk about fathers and babies in this wedding sequence, so this wasn't intentional. At one point, Tyler tells his friends that he's going “to the baby-making station” after the wedding, and we spend a lot of time sorting out the couple's relationships with their respective fathers. Tyler's father is not invited to the event, and as far as I can tell, his supposed children are not invited either.

But there's something else strange happening at this wedding that we have to acknowledge. I've been to a lot of weddings now and I'm used to a pretty typical procession. But just before Ashley leaves the stage, the stage is taken over by two dancers who twirl through the aisle and end up presenting her mother with a bouquet of flowers. It doesn't make sense until I remember they were probably planning on a third wedding and had a little more money.

It's no surprise to anyone that Ashley and Tyler are getting married. Afterwards he says she has a husband and she says, “You have a wife.” But we all want to know: Does he have children? Nick and Vanessa Lachey, here's your chance to win a Murrow Award.

Taylor and Garrett

Another inevitable (see: boring) wedding. As a hopeless romantic, I want these trips to end in marriage, I swear. But as a shady spectator? Since I knew these two couples were going to say “yes,” I wished I was watching Love Island instead. Taylor's parents were a hard sell at first, but they seem happy to see this couple come together. Her father says that Fong, Taylor's mother, is the best at recognizing people. So if she accepts Garrett, he's in. I already knew Fong was smart since he was the only person tracking DC's traffic on this show. Fong, come and stroke my hinge for me! Garrett's parents seem less than happy. His mom does that thing where you put on a funny voice and laugh a little too hard, and she was definitely crying. But hey, both sets of parents got married on the 13th, and look at that? Garrett and Taylor too! This is enough to force her girlfriends into a white pantsuit and corset combo that looks a lot like Madonna in the “Express Yourself” music video. Taylor and Garrett say “I do” and I say: Is this already over?

The 3 best DC moments

1. The grooms went to a Wizards game for their bachelorette party and were called onto the court to play a version of basketball with musical chairs. We even see the Gallery Place subway pylon. I can't believe this hasn't been leaked considering they literally announce that the men are there Love is blind. I suspect the Venn diagram of Love is blind Spectators and Wizards fans are two separate circles.
2. Garrett shares that he hasn't been to a Wizards game since he was a kid, and that's probably because Gallery Place is so inconvenient for him. Maybe if it were in Potomac Yard, for example…
3. Both weddings took place at the Great Marsh Estate in Bealeton, Virginia, about an hour and 15 minutes from Washington. A Virginia wine country wedding might not be right In DC, but it still feels very DC.

City against city

Here's the breakdown of marriages by season, excluding current divorces.

Season 1, Atlanta: 2

Season 2, Chicago: 2

Season 3, Dallas: 2

Season 4, Seattle: 3

Season 5, Houston: 1

Season 6, Charlotte: 1

Season 7, DC: 2

Statistically speaking, it's not that bad for us, although it may seem like it is other Washington remains victorious. Next time you complain about the DC dating scene, remember: You could try finding “the one” in Houston or Charlotte.

One last question

Is it too late for me to go on this show?

Lifestyle Editor

Daniella Byck joined Washingtonian in 2022. Previously she was at Outside the magazine and lives in Northeast DC.